If I Had...

And who woulda thunk that having a million dollars Canadian would be preferable? Regardless, this is how it might break down, should you be so inclined...
(h/t to YesButNoButYes and the Flickr Song Chart Pool)

Let's just end the suspense...

Every four years, we're treated to a few special events above and beyond the U.S. presidential elections...like Leap Year and The Olympics...

But don't you know we're just going to be inundated with stories about drug use within The Games...so maybe somebody should just take the lead of this old SNL Weekend Update piece from eons ago...



(BTW, this is probably the first and last time Dennis Miller will appear on my site. Just so's you know...)

This is me...brimming with confidence...

Anybody else concerned about this approach to taking out a broken spy satellite?

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The Pentagon is planning to shoot down a broken spy satellite expected to hit the Earth in early March, The Associated Press has learned.

U.S. officials said Thursday that the option preferred by the Bush administration will be to fire a missile from a U.S. Navy cruiser, and shoot down the satellite before it enters Earth's atmosphere.

The officials spoke on condition of anonymity because the options will not be publicly discussed until a later Pentagon briefing.

The disabled satellite is expected to hit the Earth the first week of March. Officials said the Navy would likely shoot it down before then, using a special missile modified for the task. Other details about the missile and the targeting were not immediately available.

But the decision involves several U.S. agencies, including the National Security Agency, the Department of Homeland Defense and the State Department.

Is it just me or does this remind anyone of The West Wing episode called "The Drop-In" where Leo is trying to get President Bartlet to continue funding a missile defense shield, and has him sitting in on a sitroom monitoring of the latest test when it goes, shall we say, predictably awry...

MAN 1 [on radio]
Negative intercept.
KM warhead has overshot
it's target.

BARTLET
It was just enthusiastic.

LEO
By how much?

GENERAL
Uh, Leo...

LEO
[sternly] By how much did it miss the target?

COLONEL
One three seven.

LEO
We missed the target by 137 feet?

COLONEL
Miles.

LEO
[looks at him, incredulous]
We missed it by 137 miles?!

BARTLET
When you consider the size of outer space, Leo,
that's not so bad. 

One more reason to like the guy...

Doesn't matter whether you're voting for him or not...you gotta like a public figure who'll strike a pose that everybody (and I mean EVERYBODY) who's ever been to the town square in Metropolis, Illinois has done...

Glomming from Facebook...

Chris Willman's status update amplifies my reaction to Album of the Year:

"Chris Willman has too much respect for Herbie Hancock to cast too many aspersions on the NARAS membership, but... well, it WAS a mass senior moment."

Gotta love the technology...

Three and a half hour show, and the Macbook has still got an hour and a half of juice left...

I, however, don't. Thanks for playing.

What The...

We're done?

I just got up to get water!

Final thoughts...

All the focus on the history of pop music, and they have to cut the tribute to the 40th anniversary of "Sgt. Pepper" for time?

A ton will be written via the annual "Grammy's are out of touch" argument, but I don't think it's the Academy fault, per se. It's just that now there's so much out there, how do you choose what to highlight and what to honor, and how do you line it up alongside the stuff you want to bring forward from the past?

Memorable performances for me: Carrie. The Foos. Rihanna/The Time. Jerry Lee.

Memorable acceptances: Kanye and Vince.

Album of the Year Again

OK.... Herbie! If it can't be Vince, this is a great choice.

Album of the year...

Wow! Herbie Hancock?!? For an album of Joni Mitchell covers?!?

Herbie speaks about the giants upon which he stands. But it's a jazz album of folk covers. It's not a bold choice...and Herbie's done much more interesting work in the past. It's Herbie's "Scorsese winning for The Departed" moment.

However, the whole category was a testament to diversity, and really, they couldn't go wrong with anybody.

I just don't think it's as revolutionary a choice as people will make it out to be. (Sorry, Craig...)

The next big thing...

Black sparkly detailing in the attire. Will.I.Am too!! ;)

When Medleys Go Wrong...

And here we thought Fergie was the Black Eyed Pea who couldn't sing.

Album of the Year

Here we go Nashville......

Personal revelation of the night...

The Maven: "There's a bone missing in my head."

Since I always wanted to be a production designer on the Grammys.

I have to say this year's set design is nice. The little neon arrows in the back are used very fluidly with the screens above. Nothing obtrusive. Not a lot of changes being made throughout. Are the Cossette's still producing this thing? There must be some new blood in the mix.

Big weekend for Obama...

He won a Grammy for Spoken Word for his book, "The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream"

Oh, yeah...didn't he win some primaries? Somewhere? Can't remember...

The Killer...

Fogerty is cool, but Jerry Lee Lewis can still bring it.

Sound Guy notes..."If Jerry Lee is 80, Richard must be 112."

Best show reprise

I'd like to add that, for the sake of street cred, I did see the Justin Timberlake tour last year. Kudos to Nina and Jo for making that happen.

Back to Amy

From a production standpoint, can you imagine how much work it took to arrange the venue, bring in the audience, dress the set, rehearse the band, book the satellite time and, you know, get her there after her visa was denied?

And If This Is Austin

I still love ya'll.....

Much love to our Austin-based readers tonight.

Portnow speaks...

Is he just wandering around the streets of L.A. in that tux?

After the Grammys

on Newschannel 5 all I want to do is hear from Nick Beres.

Shows of the year...

I have to add Chris Barron and the Time Bandits at 12th & Porter early in the year. And Mike Younger with a full band at The Basement in the fall.

Signs It's A Long Night

We're on the the Yellow Tail Reserve... and it's tasty.

Cheers to Amy Winehouse.

Great art comes from great struggle...

Here's to Ms. Winehouse for putting it all out there. We hate the mess, but we love the music that's coming out of it.

Record of the Year

And the winner is...

Beyonce
Foo Fighters
Rihanna
Justin
Amy

Hmmm... that's a good call. Go Amy!

Record of the year...

I really wanted to see Amy Winehouse at ACL Fest, but she bailed due to rehab. We'll see if she gets to follow up on this success...

Amy

The Maven asks "How can she drink so much and stay so skinny?"

To which the entire room responds in unison, "Crack!"

Since we're thinking about music...

We go around the room for our fave shows of '07:

Gang Leader (soon to be known as Geisha Girl): The Police in Lexington
Media Maven: Patty Griffin at the Ryman and Handel's Messiah.
Steeler Girl: Crossroads with Plant/Krauss
Sound Guy: "C is for Clapton"
The Reverend: Can't remember is Kristofferson was in '07 or '06...
Large Land Mammal: ACL Fest

Umbrella.

We LOVE the royal blue dress, Rihanna. Much better than that brown, straw thing from earlier.

Herbie Hancock...

Still waiting for them to launch into a few bars of "Rockit"...

I guess Gershwin will have to suffice.

So my Mom just called.

She said, "hasn't Alicia Keys been on a 1/2 dozen times already?"

Ha.

Vince!

Lines of the night: "I just had an award given to me by a Beatle."

And..."Have you had that happen yet, Kanye?"

Vince talks about music and democracy. We applaud. We would have stood, but we've seen a lot of American Idol alums...

Rock Album...

Love Springsteen, but am very OK with the Foos winning. Really strong category all the way around, but man, rock has lost a lot of luster in the past few years. Topic for another day.

Keely!

If I ever have an accident, I want to name it Keely.

Awesome.

Does she even know who Kid Rock is?

Poor woman.

I'm scared about this.

Oh, wait, this duet is kinda cool.

A'ight.

Get a tailor, Dierks!

Your suit is ill-fitted, my friend.

Feist

Brought to you by iPod Nano!

The first official "WTF?" moment of the night...

Comes not on the Grammy show, but on the ad for the upcoming Celine Dion special.

Joe Walsh?

Are you kidding me?

My mind is officially bent.

Best Hawaiian Music Album.

Yes! This was totally my favorite of the year:

• Treasures Of Hawaiian Slack Key Guitar
  Various Artists
  Daniel Ho, George Kahumoku, Jr., Paul Konwiser & Wayne Wong, producers
  [Daniel Ho Creations]

Sovereignty of Israel

Israel: Nice to have the real deal on the Grammys

Notes on the gospel segment...

Aretha is, you know, Aretha.

BeBe looks good, though we wonder from which wall he yanked the paper for the pattern for that jacket.

Sound Guy tells a story of The Clark Sisters and re-fried chicken. Buy him a beer at the Brewhouse and he'll be glad to tell you.

If nothing else...

Jimmy Sturr won.

Screen Test

No, no... let's say Amen? Was Ludacris trying out for a Tyler Perry film?

Enough with the one-name names.

Now Solange is on a first name only basis too?

Uh oh.

Kanye and an open mic. Could be interesting. Or headline-making.

Yup, we're lookin' at the latter.

All the manly men...

Are in black with sparkles. Brad Paisley AND Ringo!

OK, if you take out the subjects of the sentence...

George Lopez just said this is "The only country where (one) can run for the President of the United States."

Well, duh.

Brad Paisley.

We were on the Music Business advisory boards together in school.

Makes me feel like a real success right now.

Let the card playing begin...

Steeler Girl finally throws the employer card when The Reverend and I bemoan the fact that although we both were eligible and submitted for Grammy consideration, neither of us are winning this year.

I mean, seriously, who the hell does Bruce Nemerov think he is, anyway?

This Ones For You

I'd like to dedicate this performance of Brad Paisley's "Ticks" to the Amigos in Ohio in honor of their disdain for my appreciation of country music.

From Nashvegas to you... Giddy Up!

My ex-boyfriend...

... wanted to be Dave Grohl. Heh.

Finding out the winners...

has to come from CNN.com.

Which, of course, allowed us to toast some of our personal faves, such as Ashley, The Boss, Flight of the Conchords, etc.

No thanks to CBS and the producers of the Grammycast on that one...

Jason Bateman.

The ladies in the room are adoring him.

Gospel Winners

There's an apocalyptic spirit that would have to come over the Grammys to broadcast the gospel categories, so from time to time tonight we may be making a note on the aforementioned genre.

Kudos to Ashley Cleveland as she wins her third--third?---statuette.

There there's the tie....

Bless and Highly Favored... I'm certain it's a great album but it is a theologically problematic way to describe your day.

My Grammy Moment

The other two are consigned to obscurity five minutes before the other chick.

Jason Bateman for permanent Grammy host! Who's with me?

Apple Hurts Me

It's telling that the first groan of the night (in a good way) comes from the Maven for an iPhone commercial.

In abstentia...

So we're drinking in honor of Amy Winehouse, too...anytime an Idol shows up and anytime Amy wins...so we're gonna be toasted real soon...

Song of the Year...

I think Nelly Furtado is losing her charm. What's with her haircut?

Lifetime Achievement

Burt hasn't done squat since Scrooged.....

We're rollin' now.

Okay, after much password issues and battery loss, I'm in to hang with the big dogs and make my girlie commentaries about fashion and whatnot.

Thanks for the warm welcome, boys.

Intimacy at the Grammys

Tina & Beyoncé: When you're a big star, no one knows your last name.

Various observations during Tina...

"You would if you were Tina..."

"Quick, somebody, I need an Ike joke..."

"And how much duct tape is holding them up?"

"Why do I feel like I'm watching an episode of 'Tyra'?"

"One has soul, one doesn't. Guess which one doesn't?"

Ringo? He owes me money

OK, so the Beatles are tapping into that sentimental favorite thing for which the Grammys are notorious.

Once is more than worth the time.

Seriously?

The Beatles got this category on the air, but this is the chance for the world to know Once.

Fergie sings!

That was our reaction, too!

Soundtrack album gets a prime spot in the first hour? We're gonna have a lot of "Really?!?" moments tonight.

And again, back to the past for the winner. What does this say about our present?

More fashion comments from the gang leader..."His suit is all sparkly and that's awesome."

Say Yeah

Oh I can pull off the florescent glasses look.... Don't hate me. Now... Fergie--that's what I'm talking about.

One Award...

And the winner didn't even appear to give a long-ass speech. Still it's 10 min until 8.

--AED

Kanye

General observation is that the Reverend can't pull off the look.

A rapper sampling a sample band's song. Is this what we've come to?

And then he brings the house down.

One quarter of the way in...

And they've given away one award live on the air.

One.

It's gonna be a long night.

Hello, Hello

Hello? Anyone there? Anyone catch the Devil Went Down to Asia? Wow.....

Best New Artist..

40% chance of the winner coming from Nashville...and the winner isn't even on the continent...

Historical content...

So it's the 50th show, right? (Not really "50th annual" because they had to skip a couple in there somewhere, we think.)

And it probably means that were going to see a lot of looking back, ie. The Time and the Beatles/Cirque du Soleil stuff...

And they probably had to ramp up a lot of set pieces due to not knowing whether writers were gonna be able to contribute...

But in this time of unheard-of music business turmoil, shouldn't they be focusing on the present? Giving as much exposure within this three-hour timeframe to the artists who, oh I don't know, need some sales help?

Tom Hanks?

Talking about The Band? Really? And hitting the word "Canadians" hard for some reason?

It's about "Time"...

Or The Time, really.

Thought the Acadamy chairman's statement was coming really early in the night...till we realized the chairman is Jimmy Jam.

First fashion comment of the night (other that Alicia Keys' dress): "Is Rihanna's dress made of corn husks?"

Morris has had some work done, you think?

Other winners chyron...

...is completely unreadable unless you're watching on a high-def set.

First drinking game creation opportunity...

Count the number of American Idol contestant appearances...so far Carrie and Fantasia...

"A winner already tonight..."

Don't you hate it when they tease the fact that the upcoming performer is "already a winner tonight"? And then we don't find out what they won for an hour or more? I realize you're reading a prompter in front of 20 million people on live TV, but come on...

Carrie with the cast of "Stomp"? Were the folks from "Rent" not available?

Livebloggin' the Grammys...

The Maven's first comment..."I don't like watching dead people sing."

And we're off...

What was the name of that one with the thing...?

Running counter to the real world idea of multi-taskers (Alton Brown, for one, says the only single-function device you should ever have is a fire extinguisher), I tend to love those little webapps that do one thing and do it well.

Enter Songerize.

Dead simple: enter a song title and artist, and the Songerize app (powered by the streaming media service Seeqpod) serves it up for you.

Granted, it may not be the exact version you were looking for (I got a live version of Cheap Trick's "Dream Police," for example) and it's perhaps not as deeply populated as one would imagine (foiled it on the third try looking for "Tough It Out" by Webb Wilder.)

But if you're looking for that quick hit song lyric or something to bore out the earworm currently wedged in your head (and you don't want to launch iTunes or Rhapsody), this works well.

(h/t to Lifehacker)

UPDATE: Well, as of Sunday afternoon, something seems to be amiss with Songerize. Tried to again see how deep the catalog went, trying various random artists and songs the service may or may not have. Kept coming up with "Sorry, couldn't find song." Did this about a half dozen times, same result. Then I tried a song I knew it had ("Vertigo" from U2), same result. The only possible conclusion? I killed it. Me and my vast readership...

Further proof I live in the South...

Cable's currently out...and I desperately need to get online (you know, deadlines and stuff?) Starbucks was the early morning option, but considering (a) I don't drink coffee all that much and (b) it's $6/hour to connect, 'twas eating into the budget (and my soul) just sitting there.

The late morning solution? Yeah, you guessed it...especially if you look at the logo to your right...

Krystal Chiks, free wi-fi and soda refills? I may never leave.