Friday, March 31, 2006

A study in self-control...

I'm not a violent man. As someone who has almost always been the largest person in the room, I know I have to keep my anger in check lest I ground someone into paste. I have that ability, I just know I can't use it.

That said, there were at least 1,000 people in a room with me last night on the verge of being ground into paste.

(P)Red Wings fans.

Look, I know NHL hockey is a relatively new experience for Nashville, much less the high level of play the Preds have engaged in this season.

And as a strong proponent of the First Amendment and freedom of expression in general, far be it from me to impinge upon your cheering for a team you've been a fan of for an extended period of time.

But as the game slipped away from the Preds (again) last night, final 4-2, the obnoxiousness of the Red Wings fans in attendance grew, right alongside the ability for my blood to boil.

Dances with Monkeys was prescient early in the first period when she leaned over and said, "Maybe it's not such a good idea that we're here tonight...when they start scoring, you're gonna get pissed."

And she was right, because when Detroit notched it's first goal, a larger-than-I'm-comfortable-with portion of the crowd cheered. They continued when the Wings tied the game at 2-2 near the end of the first, throughout the scoreless second, and were unbearable when Detroit took the lead for good in the third.

Again, I don't have any problem with people rooting for the team they love. But seeing that much Red in the home of the Preds just made me angry, and yet thankful no liquored-up frat boy Wings fan got in my face. For I'd be writing this blog entry from jail.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

The promise of what could be...

Nothing like taunting your customers with what they *could* have in the face of what they *will* have.

Last night, at the Predators Foundation Wine Tasting & Auction (and no, it wasn't nearly as snooty as that might sound), Budweiser was present with a stash of the "day-fresh" Bud Light, or beer that had been brewed, bottled, and shipped to Nashville that very day.

It was, easily, the best Bud Light I have ever tasted. Which isn't really saying all that much, in the long run, but still, it was good.

And that's why the whole "day-fresh" campaign is the stupidest marketing effort ever.

Why whet the palate of your customer base with the promise of what could be, when 99.986% of the time, they're going to have to drink the swill that's been sitting around one, two, six, eight weeks?

Beer is not like wine, it doesn't age well generally. Some do, when kept in the right conditions.

Bud Light, clearly, doesn't age well. It's meant to be brewed and consumed, apparently, in the same day.

'Twas a nice experiment, oh powers-that-be at Anheuser-Busch, but I'll stick to my Yazoo, Yuengling, Shiner, Arrogant Bastard, Sierra Nevada and whatever other premium stuff I can get my hands on, thank you very much.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Actin' Naturally...

For any self-respecting kid in the late '70s/early '80s, the last thing you wanted to enjoy was Hee Haw.

There it was, every Saturday night at 6:30 (or thereabouts, depending on your local affiliate and their syndication agreements), chucking out non-stop corn-pone humor littered with country stars of the day.

I hated it.

Until I got a little older and started to understand the nuances of country, and started to develop an appreciation for artists like George Jones and Johnny Cash. (Later, after moving to Nashville and finding out the breakneck pace at which they produced an entire season of the show in a couple weeks, I was even more impressed.)

Right there in the middle of it all were Roy Clark and Buck Owens.

I have to admit: I was more of a Roy Clark fan, finding him the much more compelling instrumentalist and a much more natural comedian.

But when you started to look at what Buck Owens meant, not only to Hee Haw but to other influential figures within pop music, you had to give him his props.

I've had "Act Naturally" stuck in my head ever since word came of Buck's death this past Saturday. I never met Buck, but was in the press room at the CMA Awards the night he was inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame. His spiritual protege Dwight Yoakam did the honors, and the two of them came back to face the ink-stained and/or blow-dried wretches of the music press.

Bob Dylan's ramble/rant at the Grammys a few years earlier was crystal clear compared to the run Buck went on that night, and while to this day I still don't know what he was talking about (or was on, really), I'd like to think in Buck's head it was something profound.

Thanks for pickin', Buck. We'll keep grinnin'.

Friday, March 24, 2006

"Word of mouth" is what got us into this mess...

At the risk of letting Olby speak for me too often, I have nothing more to add to this that is either relevant or true. Unbelievable...and please, let it play to the end.

Stat O' The Day

George W. Bush's approval rating is now a full 30 points lower than Bill Clinton's was on the day he was impeached.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

K.O. scores a KO on BO'R via Colbert

Ah, yes...my home state...

Today's entry in the never-ending line of "Texas: WTF?" situations...

Texas arresting people in bars for being drunk

Here's the quote I love: "The goal, she said, was to detain drunks before they leave a bar and go do something dangerous like drive a car."

Ummm, a suggestion, if you don't mind? Rather than burden the state's already overtaxed courts system (I mean, Tom DeLay's deal alone must be stretching everybody thin, right?), why don't you...oh, I don't know...call them a cab?

(Thanks to LabKat for the tip.)

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Wabbit Season...

What with the overwhelming amount of content designed to catch the eyes of youngsters everywhere, it'll be interesting to see what kind of nostalgia for cartoons of their youth kids today will have 30 years from now.

Last Saturday, part of my birthday weekend surprise was a trip to the Tennessee Performing Arts Center to see "Bugs Bunny on Broadway," an exploration of the classical music used in the Warner Bros. cartoons of the '40s and '50s, delivered via the Nashville Symphony Orchestra.

The excerpts from "Baton Bunny," "What's Opera, Doc?" and "The Rabbit of Seville" all brought back memories from Saturday mornings propped up in front of the TV, cereal bowl nearby, absorbing these great comic and musical moments.

That merging of the "high culture" of classical music with the "low culture" of cartoons showcased the genius of animation directors like Chuck Jones and Friz Freleng, not to mention the vocal mastery of Mel Blanc, in a way that the animation of today simply can't match.

Why? Well, mainly because the cartoons of today are 30-minute infomercials for video games and action figures, not short films designed to appeal to a broad audience.

No commercially conscious animation studio today would think of creating something as sublime as "High Note," a trip through "The Blue Danube" starring a sodden quarter note as the protagonist to a frustrated conductor, also played by a quarter note. Kinda hard to pump out a series of plush toys and candy based on this cartoon, but the execution is brilliant.

Yes, there were some flaws in the Looney Tunes universe, some societal directions that haven't aged well in the intervening decades, but from a creativity standpoint, very few of today's cartoons can hold a candle to those simply drawn worlds of days gone by.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Winning the war on bloviation...

UPDATE: K.O.'s been on quite the media roll lately, what with appearances on The Colbert Report and this fantastic hour-long interview on CSpan's Q & A.

If you check out my MySpace page (and really, why haven't you?), you'll find that I've reframed the "Heroes" section "Examples of Excellence," and while that list is currently alphabetical by first name, should there be a numerical designation, Keith Olbermann would probably be in my top five.

Before Countdown, before his Sunday night show on Fox Sports Net, before his first stint at MSNBC where he was forced to shove the Monica Lewinsky story down our throats for 240-someodd consecutive days (much to his oft-stated chagrin), there was K.O. alongside his tag team partner Dan Patrick on the original Big Show on ESPN.

His highlight packages, his asides, his references...all of Olbermann's material was smart. Not smart-ass, just smart. He loved the world of sports, and he hated when the world interfered with sports.

And that's how he presents his nightly news/talk/interview show now: he seems to want the world to be a better place, and he gets frustrated and points it out when idiocy (most recently in the form of a certain FNC bloviator who shant be named here) thwarts that goal.

Thankfully, he's back in the role of sports commentator weekdays for an hour on Dan Patrick's radio show, and if you're a fan of the fusion of sports and the rest of the world, give the new Big Show a listen. It's the best 60 minutes on radio (that aren't being delivered via the Spin Cycle on Lightning 100, natch).

If the folks at NBC Sports are smart, they'll attach K.O. to the Sunday night NFL package they've just spent a fortune acquiring, letting Keith contribute a weekly feature or (better still) putting him in a studio role alongside Bob Costas and creating the single greatest NFL pre-game/post-game show EVER.

In the meantime, if you like your news/commentary with some snark instead of irrational amounts of bile, if you'd like to see brains win out of bullying, if you're tired of seeing the blowhard bastards win...tune into Countdown weeknights at 8pm/7pm Central on MSNBC. You might be glad you did...Keith certainly would.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Facing The Question

"Who are you to decide what's good and what's bad?"

This phrase (or one like it) is one I've been asked more than a few times during my journalism career. The most recent example came last Saturday night after the Will Hoge show at City Hall, when an inebriated young woman/wannabe artist saw me reading a local entertainment publication, wondered why I was reading it, told her I wrote for it and then hits me with The Question.

"Who are you to decide what's good and what's bad?"

I tend not to answer The Question because it usually gets me into a debate that I can't possibly win.

But had I been in more of a combative mood, I might have said something like this:
"Because I've listened to more crap than you could possibly imagine.

Because I've trudged to hole-in-the-wall venues in hopes of hearing something that would yank me out of the rut of the comfortable, even though there's no hope of this music ever appealing to an audience bigger than a small-town phonebook.

Because I have a more-than-passible command of the English language.

Because I know my words and the way I string them together have, on occasion, made people change the way they think.

Because when you stumble across that song, that performer, that band, that moment that makes you forget about all that crap that came before it, it makes you want to convey it to a group of people who couldn't/haven't experienced it."
Jack White has posted a snitty little comment about critics on The White Stripes' website, a customary response when bands don't get quite as much critical love as they once did.

But he makes a valid point about opinions today and where they come from. The combination of the Internet and the explosion of entertainment journalism, both of which rely on sheer volume for validity, have made comment on these media items unavoidable.

So, now, artists (and their fans, certainly) can pick and choose exactly the items, outlets and writers that smooch their hindquarters to their heightened satisfaction, and choose to deride the ones that don't.

Jack goes off-course when he says, "Critics are the only public expression that isn’t ‘allowed’ to be critiqued." To that I say, "Bull---t." Critics get critiqued all the time, via letters to the editor, via analysis from their bosses, via circulation numbers rising and/or falling, via other critics.

And those critiques from the public, once snail mail now nasty messageboard postings, tend to fall along two lines: if the piece says something nice about an artist, the feedback talks about how great the artist is. If the piece says something negative, it's the writer's fault.

We are an society littered with opportunities to express our opinion; it's codified into the DNA of this country via the First Amendment. But there's also a hard-and-fast idea of "Less Is More," and the idea that those days when we had less opinion floating around in the mass media ether ultimately meaning more in the long run has really began to ring true with me.

I take what I do very seriously; I like to have fun at it and have been accused on more than one occasion of being goofy, but in the end, I want to serve whatever audience I drum up well. That's why I've been careful about who I write for and why; if I was just in in for the money, I would've been out of this biz a long time ago.

So know this: if you see my name beside something in print or on the Internet, I've put a lot of thought (not to mention more than 15 years of experience) into it. Realize that ahead of time, that I'm not just spouting off to hear myself talk, and whatever disagreements we may have can be approached from an informed level.

Welcome to town, Jack.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

I Believe...

I believe in the power of the written word.

In an age of digital this and interactive that, so much of communication's foundation remains the written word.

This blog isn't the sum total of my thoughts, feelings, observations. It's not my diary, my journal, or my "creative outlet."

It's a subset of a career. (Google my name if you need more proof...)

I've been a professional writer for the better part of two decades, with hundreds of published pieces to my credit, mainly in the world of music journalism, with occasional toe dips into sports and technology.

(I seem to remember a piece about nuclear fission somewhere in the early '90s, but that's getting hazier by the day.)

There's an ongoing need for well-planned, well-researched, well-constructed and well-written content in this communications age. Items that cut through the clutter and detritus and hype-without-substance both new and old media have become.

I have, on occasion, created some of those. (On others, maybe not so much...)

If you're an entity that finds a need for just such an item, get in touch. Let's talk...and then let's get to work.

largelandmammal (at) gmail.com